This collage was the last family pictures we took in 2012. Sad to say it was done early in 2012 around March. I thought it would be appropriate for me to blog into the new year! If there is any year I have come to realize how much FAMILY really means to me it would be in the year 2012. We were able to manage to visit my husband's side of the family for Thanksgiving and have my mom visit us here in Utah for Christmas. A lot of small miracles made those visit's happen for us though. We truly needed it. It has been a lonely ride out here lately and I think it's because we've been so caught up in trying to survive that we forgot to check in with our loved ones. Even talking regularly on the phone would be something we needed to work on. One experience I'd like to share is a moment I had with Jude's sisters in Cali for Thanksgiving.
Story starts with us girls cleaning up. Joanne and Gloria was washing dishes and Jackie and I were clearing the table, wiping and throwing away trash. I seen Joanne looking for something and asked her if she needed help. Turns out she couldn't find the sponge. She had just thrown something away in a box nearby and figured she must have dropped the sponge in there. Well we all started searching high and low for it and ended up having the kids ask Christine for another one. Joanne continues to wash the rest of the dishes and all of the sudden the original sponge we had been looking for appeared on the sink. I stopped and stared literally. I told Joanne "That's not the sponge we were looking for, is it?" She was just as confused as I was and we all thought the same thing. It was dad giving us a sign that he was there. My father in law was always in the kitchen so that lil' prank was typical of him. Maybe not so much a prank but just a gesture to show us he was "there". I'm sure the girls appreciated it and loved the idea of dad giving us all a message. It still gives me chills thinking about it. It's lil' things like this that I'll never forget. There goes a highlight for 2012.
Another moment I must add is when my mom came to visit. It was really nice. I know I've complained about my relationship with her but I never forget she's my mom. When she came to visit I was so happy to see her. I erased all the hurt I harbored for so long and enjoyed every moment I had with her. Being that she was sick the first few days she arrived she had so much energy. I almost forgot she had cancer. She walked to the market down the street and bought some groceries for the house, she cleaned up around the house and really made herself at home. I loved it. I know she was trying so hard to be independent and genuinely "try" to take care of us. What mothers usually do but it was different. I needed to take care of her. She ended up going into the hospital when she was out here because her bleeding started up again. My mom says it comes and goes. The thing is it's really bad when the bleeding starts. Dr told her that her tumor was spreading and it wasn't getting any better. I pleaded with her that she would get the surgery the Dr recommended but she nodded her head in agreement like she always does. I know her too well to know she does and says things just so we can move on. I hate when she does that. I ended up calling in the whole week she was here because Dr told me if she got dizzy or her bleeding got out of control to bring her back to the ER to have her admitted. I couldn't risk anything happening to her. All I know is I'm glad she was here with us. My kids didn't even care about gifts this year and honestly they hardly ever do any year. But when they were asked to say something Keleece thanked my mom for being alive. I know it sounds weird but to me I think she was saying she was thankful my mom is fighting to stay alive. My daughter Kamerin just wept and couldn't get a word out. I kept asking her if she wanted to say anything but she just kept nodding no and crying. I couldn't force her. She's always been the one to express her feelings anyways. My son Keanu thanked my mom for praying for them. How sweet is that? My oldest Kimani ended our FHE by saying he was thankful for the opportunity to spend Christmas with his grandma and the only thing he wanted for Christmas was "to be loved". We all said we loved him and all of them and that gift will always be number one in our home. I love my children. They have such big hearts. To 2012 I salute you for this great memory.
As there are many more things this past year I am thankful for I wish nothing but more great memories for the year 2013. I'm ready! I am actually psyched for 2013.. I guess it's a normal feeling to start anew with your goals at the beginning of the year but let's just say.. I am more determined now and focused.
