The death of a child is the single most traumatic event in life. To lose a child is to lose a piece of yourself.

Sandy Hook Elementary School, where a gunman opened fire on school children and staff in Newtown, Connecticut on December 14, 2012. A heavily armed gunman opened fire on school children and staff at a Connecticut elementary school on Friday, killing at least 26 people, including 20 children, in the latest in a series of shooting rampages that have tormented the United States this year.

 

My heart aches for these families. I couldn't stop crying today because of this. News say :

Twenty children died today when a heavily armed man invaded a Newtown, Conn., elementary school and sprayed staff and students with bullets.
The gunman, identified as Adam Lanza, 20, was found dead in the school.
Lt. Paul Vance said 18 children died in Sandy Hook Elementary School and two more died later in a hospital.
Six adults also were slain, bringing the total to 26. Among them was the school's principal, Dawn Hochsprung, multiple sources told ABC News.
In addition to the casualties at the school, Lanza's mother, Nancy Lanza, was killed in her home, federal and state sources told ABC News.
According to sources, Lanza shot his mother in the face, then left his house armed with at least two semi-automatic handguns, a Glock and a Sig Sauer, and a semi-automatic rifle. He was also wearing a bulletproof vest.
Lanza drove to Sandy Hook Elementary School and continued his rampage, killing 26 people, authorities said. He was found dead at the school. It appeared that he died from what was believed to be a self-inflicted gunshot wound. The rifle was found in his car.

“Tears are words that need to be written”

When someone you love passes away all you have left is memories. Memories that seem painful to think of because you know you can't make more. Mac Manu is my sisters kids fathers nephew. We pretty much grew up with Mac. When he entered high school I was surprised at how grown he had become. I took him under my wing in a sense and me being a senior and him a freshman he really liked the idea of hanging out with me. lol He would ask me every break and lunch for something. Whether it be a cookie or a full on lunch. I was always a sucker for him cause besides my sister and cousin he was the only guy I could call family. I always refered to him as my son. I'm still in shock that he's gone! I hate it!

One of the great memories I have is wrestling with him. As small as he was he always insisted on trying to wrestle with me. It seemed to amuse him that he can slam me on the floor and I could take it. Of course I was a tom boy back in the days so it wasn't uncommon to see me wrestling, playing football etc. When I was trying to impress my boyfriend (who is now my husband) back in the days, he thought it would be funny to tackle me. We were all on the beach and I was seriously trying to look cute in my lil' ie lava lava and he tackles me and I face planted the sand. Yeah OUCH! It was so embarrassing and my husband looked at me confused like am I supposed to beat this guy up or help him up? He just tackled my girlfriend! hahahahaha When I bursted out in laughter he knew that we were playing around. I must have got up and gave him the stink eye and he walked away like it never happened. I always laugh about that memory because only Mac could do that to me and would do that!

He was spontaneous. He had so much energy and always a pleasure to be around. He had an infectious smile and the biggest heart. Everyone is hurting because he will be missed. How he passed away was by him trying to live a honest living. He wasn't shot he was ran over. It really blows!  He was a tow truck driver so being in that kind of business to help others was so him. When he went to assist someone with a flat tire a drunk driver swerved and hit Mac head on. He was dead immediately. Lord took him but made sure he went quick and didn't suffer. It's so sad and I hate talking about it now. I can't imagine how his wife, his babies, his parents and siblings are all feeling. But I pray they be strong.

I have always made it a must to say "I love you" to my husband and children. I realize how powerful and important those words are. Life is definitely unpredictable and too short. I don't know where I would be had this tragedy happen to me. I pray for all those that mourn. If there's anything I take from this is "DON'T DRINK AND DRIVE!" I am guilty of doing this once or twice before, back when I was young and stupid. I think to myself  I only had a few beers and I should be okay. I will never make excuses for myself again because no life is worth my ignorance. I'll see you in heaven Mac. Save me a spot! I love you! 

Day he left us was 12/9/12. Sing with the angels Mac. “Remembering is easy. It's forgetting that's hard.”

I LOST THE MOST HUMBLE, TRUSTING MAN IN MY LIFE...

July 5, 2010 by far is the most memorable day for me! If anyone can explain being sad & happy at the same time I'll do so. The day I married my husband was the day I also had the privilege to gain another family. A brand new set of parents and a bunch of siblings. My husbands parents took me under their wing because my parents had split and I appreciated them for that. I'm not gonna lie I became just a bit jealous when we had family functions w/ my in laws. Especially because our family was exactly the same way. So close & caring. My father in law was a very wise man. He gave even when he had nothing. He contributed a helping had even when he physically knew he couldn't. I see the same traits in my husband. He raised his children very well and I thank him for that. I am honored to have had him in my life. Especially in my kids lives. He was such a great example to us all.

The night my father in law went into the hospital I got a call. My husband and I had just gotten off of work and it was around 1 am. SO when I got the call my heart started pounding because no one wants to receive a call that late because it's always bound to be bad news. Sure enough it was. My sister in law asked to talk to my husband and I anxiously waited for him to get off so he can tell me what was going on. His face told me it wasn't good. When he told me his dad was in ICU I literally went blank. I called my sister and asked her to grab my kids from my in laws so they would be able to see their father in the hospital. Then I started getting updates via text message about his health and he wasn't doing too well. He had so much things wrong w/ him. He had pneumonia and he was bleeding from his stomach. When I told my husband what was going on he broke down and cried. I've only seen my husband cry once and that was when his baby was in the hospital for surgery. It's hard seeing your spouse be so emotional when you normally don't see them that way. My heart went out for him. I started looking for flight reservations for him. He kept blaming himself for not being out there w/ his dad through out his last days. We have lived in Utah for 3 years now and he felt they were wasted. I felt guilty because I was the one who made the move out here and always felt like I took him away from his family. So of course I shared the guilt w/ him. So now I knew I had to be the one to make the most decisions because he wasn't thinking rational now. He wanted to drive down that very night. Being we just got off of work we were in no state to drive for that long. I drove him to fedex to use the computers so I can make his flight. Told him what the plan was going to be and sent him off.

When I took him to the airport I felt like I was letting him go. My husband and I were out here in Utah for the summer alone because my mother in law asked to have her grand kids stay. I was iffy but felt like it was the right thing to do since they won't see them all year. It's times like these where heavenly father proves everything happens for a reason. So when letting my husband go down to cali was hard for me because I was left alone to worry about him, my kids and my father in law. I cried so hard. When I walked away I watched him from a far trying to cherish every moment. He must have felt my pain because he looked straight at me as if he knew where I was hiding to watch him go. lol He blew me a kiss and waved good bye. A moment I'll cherish forever.

My husband called me from out there to let me know he was in the hospital w/ his father. He cried and thanked me for flying him out. I didn't do anything apart from doing what every wife should do. I of course stayed behind to work so we wouldn't financially burden his family. I thought it was the best thing to do. Being that my husband was out there made me feel he can at least know he was there to see God take him away. I miss him just talking about him. Things won't be the same. He glued our family together always. No fight or argument was important enough to lose ties w/ each other. He always made sure we reconciled things so we can "Live One Vision Everyday". L-O-V-E (Live One Vision Everyday) was a quote my father in law always said. He was a very wise man.

So now I'm stuck here trying to figure out how I can get down to California. Like most people in the world I live paycheck to paycheck. So I'm hoping my mom or dad can come through for me. I'm keeping myself occupied though. My sister Lepa and I are making pins for the family. I'm planning on giving it to them as a gift from me on the day of the service. It's home made of course so hope they will like it. I used the last 40 bucks to my name for them. Here are samples.



This one is going to be for my mother in law and the bottom is for the siblings. I didn't fix the sibling one because it's supposed to say Live One Vision Everyday but I fixed it on the actual project. lol My husband wanted his own so I'm making one of him and his dad. I'm planning on putting ribbon around it and just play around w/ it til' I like how it comes out. I will take a picture of the finished project when I'm done.





To my father in law I will try my best to continue taking care of your son and your grand kids. I love you always!